Qala-i-Now

Since the abduction of an Israeli soldier on June 25th, the world's biggest open-air prison – Gaza Strip – has been subject to a continuous, murderous Israeli attack, with several Palestinians killed every single day, and scores injured. While Lebanon was flattened by millions of Israeli bombs, nobody cared about Gaza. Following the Israeli defeat in Lebanon, the frustrated army can now take revenge on the helpless Gazans with renewed destructive energies. Gaza is under total siege, with poverty at 75 percent, no electricity in the intolerable late-summer heat, let alone proper medical care.

But even in these darkest days there is a single ray of light. There is someone who does care about the people of Gaza, someone who does see them as human beings deserving food, shelter, freedom and dignity. Guess who. Mother Teresa? Close, but no cigar. The answer is: the Israeli army. At least if you ask Israel's by far most popular portal, YNET, the website of Israel's most selling daily Yediot Achronot. Read along (Hebrew; translation: ynetnews.com).

"IDF sets up detention center near Gaza: Palestinian men held at special temporary center set up near Gaza as IDF embarks on wave of arrests

"The Israel Defense Force set up a temporary detention center near the border with the Gaza Strip where dozens of Palestinian men arrested by troops operating in the tiny coastal strip are interrogated each day."

So far so good. Or not so good. One wonders what would come next: a couple of critical questions? A short comment about the illegality of this procedure? After all, international law explicitly forbids the abduction of people across the border of an occupied territory, so that all Israelis involved in this "detention center" can be accused of war crimes. Or, if international law doesn't count, what about the Israeli law? Under what paragraph are these people arrested, living in an area from which Israel claims to have withdrawn? Perhaps a short comparison between the number of Israelis abducted by Palestinians (soldiers: 1; civilians: 0; children: 0) and the huge number of Palestinians abducted by Israel? Not quite. Shall we at least live to see who the arrestees are, what their stories may be? Well, let's read on.

"The army said soldiers have been instructed to treat the detainees in a humane manner and stressed that most men are released after undergoing interrogation. Released Palestinians are given a package of food staples like sugar, oil and flour. 'We can be proud of the IDF's treatment of the Palestinians,' reservist soldiers operating the center said. [...] 'Since yesterday, arrestees have been pouring in,' a soldier told Ynet. 'In the afternoon a number of Palestinians arrived, whose ages ranged from 15-year-old teenagers to adults aged 45. We made every effort to give the Palestinians a good feeling, we set up tables, benches, and we even set up shades so they don't have to stand in the sun.' Soldiers said the arrestees did not seem scared, and some were seen laughing. Most Palestinians who arrived at the center on Thursday were neither blindfolded nor handcuffed. 'Every one of them was taken to a tent for interrogation. Those with links to terror groups were taken by bus to another facility and the rest were released to Gaza within hours,' soldiers said. 'We received orders to serve them hot meals, and the brigade set a table with bread and chocolate and served them drinks,' reservists said. 'We felt great pride for the treatment, for treating the Palestinians with respect, even those suspected of terror activities.'"

So now we know it all. "Detention center" must be a leftist or anti-Semitic defamation. What the Israeli army runs just outside Gaza is in fact a luxury hotel with full board. Soldiers work in room service, giving Palestinians a brief relief from the terrible conditions in Gaza: water, shade, food, chocolate, hot meals, even a good laugh.

Not only adults enjoy the hotel's services: even children can be surprised by the merciful Israeli soldiers who take them out of their wretched beds in the middle of the night, transport them by tanks and armored personnel carriers (air-conditioned buses to be introduced shortly, please forgive the inconvenience) to this army-run oasis, ask them how they feel ("interrogation"), spoil them with the hotel's excellent services, and consequently release them well-quipped with a bag full of goodies.

The soldiers also say that most Palestinians were neither blindfolded nor handcuffed. This is hardly confirmed by the three photos illustrating the report, in which, out of a dozen Palestinians pictured, 12 are clearly seen blindfolded (and most probably handcuffed as well). This, however, is quite understandable: the rumor has it that if the precise location of the IDF Luxury Hotel were compromised, hundreds thousands of starving Palestinians would apply, at least for free bed-and-breakfast. Indeed, one can most highly recommend this detention center to everyone.